So I not so fond of this account anymore. It's old, outdated and something I was about 3-4 years ago. Something which I need to move away from.

Thus I created a new account.


LordMonty

It's a little more professional in the sense of work and quality. Hopefully a little less all over the place as well.

It's scary how the emotional frustration of having a new, and almost completely bed webbed into a dread of the next few years. I'm not going to die or anything, but here's the story I'm feeling right about now at three thirty in the morning.

I have a new bed, a loft bed to be exact. I'm confused on why I had desired this bed frame, considering I have trouble coping with major changes in my life and I have a deep fear of heights. My old bed was actually nearly fine just the bed frame was getting a little old. I'm still up currently because I have take forever to get used to new things. To me a new bed is like losing your love due to average relationship reasons. It just feels strange and foreign like coming into the sea of singleness after a long relationship on a loving yacht, or being caught into a fishermen's boat during your prolonged journey in that vast sea (a new change that has currently come upon me, but a change I prefer). We could note it is like being a hopeless and can't hold bountiful relationships long "romantic". I had one love for the most part since I lived in this familiar house, that shall be talked about in its due time, and that love was an average near the ground twin bed.I have had two frames and two mattresses cycled in that time span from then till now, but they were virtually the same. Now I have a new frame, but the same old mattress. It's like finding a love is almost nearly completely different from your previous lover, except that she has that habit of playing with your hair that you love and that is executed the same way by both past and present lovers. So it is a love hate relationship right now. I'm glad I don't have a new mattress or I would never be able to even lay down on its welcoming warmth and softness that I so desperately cry for at this moment. Yet I am distraught over my want for my old bed, and yet I want change.

I do want change,
but it seems like I may not handle it.

I will only have two years of the same routine, then bam off to some college that I have no idea where it and what I will be doing there.My plan is to go to a Community college for my general education for a cheap price and then transfer to a UC of my choosing. Preferably Humbolt, which is upper California, and that's a even bigger change right? To make matters stranger, I may not even go to the Community college for those couple years here in my home town. I may move to a city with large homes within my families price range. I have mixed feelings because A. My family has never had our own piece of land we could call ours; and with the house we would have a home and land (It's that American Dream stuff that I have come to understand by my U.S. Hist class). However B. I lived in my home town since I was born, i lived away for a year and still moved back here. It's home, and who really wants to leave home?

If we do move and I go a Community college over in that new place, I will still leave it within two years. So would it really be home for me? Now to moving to my beloved Universities, My life would be almost completely different. I will be for the firs time in my life living on my own. Will I be able to handle it? I'm not frugal and responsible like my Superman brother (note my work: Looking Up To Brother), or as pious and devoted as my Batman brother. Both of them so very well off now, and they really didn't get out on their own until, recently and they are both in their late twenties; and this is statistically around 7 years difference meaning I'll be about seven years earlier with living on my own.
It is what I aspire to do, yet I question if my aspirations though good natured will turn out for the best. I want to experience new things, I want to see the rest of my home state of California, something I'm moderately proud to be, a Californian. Yet I'm scared I may not be ready, yet it will be the only time I can truly do it. By the time I'm out of college I'm settling down. No I'm not the party type, no I'm not a true independent, I want a family, I want a simple life.

Which forms into another solid statement on why I should be a teacher. Yet my total being is not convinced one hundred percent.

Anyways college probably one that I will be hours away from anyone I really know, especially my parents. i was going to note the fear of, what if they need me? I very easily realized the answer that I will heed and answer their call without hesitation. Well that's one point of self-argument cleared up.

Well it looks like I'm going to be away from home for several years in college, but wait there's more! I honestly want to join the Peace Corps. It's something that I won't even argue with myself and say no, if I truly want to do it when the time comes, I will do it, no buts. Yet that will be another two years away from home. Thinking about it, I think it is the only way I can really serve my country like President Kennedy once asked us. Since I am a conscientious objector to participating in combat for our country.

Ya know I really wonder if other nations hate us like the media portrays it. Note for a feature reference for all readers of all peoples: I love The U.S.A., it is my home, I was born here. Furthermore, if anyone wants to live my home and call it theirs' as well, I would be overjoyed.

(I love tea, and orange juice. Above all, God, because why wouldn't I?

At last the conclusion to chapter one of this never ending story we call life. I don't want to grow up. I love being a kid, and I'm not ashamed to call myself a child. The outcome will be that I will have Peter Pan Syndrome for nearly all my life. Maybe I should be a children's toys designer, maybe I would be like Zeevo from toys or Willy Wonka. I want to be as intelligent as an adult but still be able to be a kid at heart.

Note: To obtain intelligence and a child's heart. Close your heart from cynicism and doubt, and have your brain shut out naivety, ruthlessness and inefficiency. Then learn to incoperate both sides as equals and be honest. Then pay to God your doing it right, I'm not kidding.

I think it is time for this artist to find his Neverland.

Woweewowow! 100 Deviations, I feel mildly proud of myself. I hope to continue past 200, past 300, past 500, maybe even 1,000!!!! Hahahah! Wow, that is a lot!

I hope everyone is having a lovely night.

I cut my hair! After three years, I finally cut my hair. I'm actually very proud of myself, considering I had cut it myself. I shall make a new ID accordingly, when I find a photo I like.

In other news, in art class we are working on a product design. Basically, We're making album art. I have a couple Ideas which I hope to complete by the deadline. I'll post them as soon as I am done.

Wooooo, I finally have my account up to date with all my works. For better or for worse! I hope everyone will enjoy what I've put out so far this year. Although, working with my teacher Mr. Ribaudo, can be frustrating at times. Overall, I'm getting better and better! Please leave your comments and thoughts. Advance critiquing is ALWAYS welcome! I hope you all have a good spring break.

Just remember to stop and smell the roses sometime.